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Healing the Father Wound

• Tabitha MacDonald • Episode 58

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🌟 Healing the Father Wound Through the Lens of the Enneagram | Shadow Work & Soul Growth

The father wound runs deep—shaping how we love, achieve, protect ourselves, and trust life. In this video, we explore how your Enneagram type reveals your unique relationship with the masculine, the inner father archetype, and the patterns that may be keeping you from true healing.

Whether you had a physically absent father, an emotionally distant one, or simply internalized unmet expectations, this wound can echo across your health, wealth, purpose, and relationships. The Enneagram gives us a map—a compassionate framework to understand how each type responds to the pain of unmet needs, how the father wound shaped your identity, and what healing looks like through integration.

🌀 You’ll learn:

  • How the father wound shows up for each Enneagram type
  • The connection between father energy and your core motivations
  • How to use awareness, parts integration, and inner child work to heal
  • The role of your Higher Self in reparenting your inner world

This podcast is for co-dependents, empaths, cycle-breakers, seekers, and anyone on the path of spiritual and emotional transformation. It’s time to reclaim your power from old masculine distortions and rise in your wholeness.

✨ Listen now and begin the journey to healing your father wound—Enneagram style.

If this resonates, be sure to like, comment, and subscribe for more content on intuition, shadow work, and soul purpose. 💗

👇 Let me know in the comments:

What’s your Enneagram type—and how has the father wound shaped your path?

#FatherWound #Enneagram #ShadowWork #InnerChildHealing #MasculineHealing #SpiritualHealing #IntuitiveCoach #TraumaHealing #EnneagramTypes #EmotionalHealing #SubconsciousWork #PersonalGrowth #HealingJourney #SomaticHealing #SoulWork #SelfAwareness #InnerWork #Reparenting #AncestralHealing #ConsciousMas

Are you ready to feel supported on your healing journey?  The Soma Flow Library of Healing is now available.  With a powerful meditations, hypnosis sessions and Superconscious Recodes to restructure your unconscious patterns, this is a must have tool to your journey back to you.  

✨ Ready to take this work deeper?

If today’s episode spoke to your soul and you’re ready to rise into a life aligned with your truth, I’d love to invite you into Soma Rising—my signature transformational journey for women who are done playing small and ready to reclaim their power, purpose, and intuitive knowing.

In Soma Rising, we dive into shadow work, emotional healing, the Enneagram, and Superconscious transformation—all with the intention of helping you align your mind, body, heart, and soul for a life of deep flow and fulfillment.

🌿 You’ll be guided step-by-step through the inner shifts that lead to outer change—supported by powerful tools, a sacred community, and the wisdom of your own body and soul.

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💫 About Tabitha

Tabitha MacDonald is an Intuitive Coach and Bodyworker committed to helping people overcome pain fast so they can experience the love, success, freedom, and fulfillment they truly desire.

Additional Resources:

Speaker 1:

Welcome to this Soma Rising Session on the Father Wound. And if you are listening on my podcast, my name is Tabitha MacDonald. I'm an intuitive coach and as we recently passed Father's Day, it occurred to me that a lot of people are carrying a pretty profound father wound and I would say that's pervasive in society in general and I wouldn't say it's just our children, it's also men and women and I don't really think anyone is entirely free of the wound of, I would say, not even the father, but just of the masculine and toxic masculinity. And I'm not saying all men are toxic, so I just want to make sure that that's really clear. I mean like toxic masculinity where everything is power and force instead of strength and rootedness in the divine masculine. This is especially true in my own life and I'm going to share a little story and you know, my father left when I was, I think, three.

Speaker 1:

My parents divorced and I grew up in the 70s and I think that was common back then, probably more common now than it was back then and I remember the day they, like the divorce went through and my mom was like oh, we should all celebrate. And I remember like clapping and like being excited. I was just a child. So I find that strange because when I got a divorce, I wanted the opposite for my children. I wanted them to know that they were created from two parents who really loved them. So when I think about, like, my own father wound, you know, when I was five, I believe, my father remarried and we really didn't see him after that. Like, he moved on and, um, he took on fathering his, his stepchildren, and we saw him very infrequently.

Speaker 1:

Um, when I was 16, my, I went to visit him for a week and it always made me uncomfortable because I really didn't know him. And you know, also, listening to the stories that my mother told me about him my whole life, I was very afraid of him, to be honest, and I was afraid that he was going to like hurt me. This man had never done anything to actually hurt me, so it was very strange that I carried these fears. I know a lot of it was the stories that she told me about him growing up. None of the things that I had witnessed, only the things that she had conveyed. And so, you know, going to visit him for a week, I think it was before my senior year, I was 16.

Speaker 1:

And so, you know, going to visit him for a week, I think it was before my senior year, I was 16. And when I came home from that visit I actually kind of felt comfortable with him, like, oh, he's not so bad. And you know, my mom I don't know, this is kind of a hard story but she moved while I was gone and I came home to an empty house and I remember pulling up. My friend Sadie had brought me back from the train station and we pulled in and my house was empty and the carpet cleaner said, oh no, those folks moved a couple of days ago. They're not here anymore. And I just kind of looked at him like what are you talking about?

Speaker 1:

And that really sent me on an adventure I was not planning on at 16. I was homeless for a little while and then my dad reached out and said do you want to come live down here? And I wanted to finish my senior year in high school with the high school that I went to. So eventually we figured out a system of me living in an apartment with my sister, who was not a kind human, and you know, it was just this like year of my life. When I look back and I think, wow, I don't know how a 16 year old survived all of that. And the reason I'm mentioning this on the father wound is because I blamed him for not rescuing me sooner.

Speaker 1:

And then, when he finally did come and pick me up, I was in bad shape. I was in really bad shape. I had to drop out of high school. I couldn't find a job, I was starving because there was, you know, no groceries or food. And I don't entirely blame him. I don't think I told him what was going on. I don't even think I knew what was going on, because I was so young Like I just didn't really and I was just in so much trauma and I was making horrible choices because I was a 16 year old in trauma with no parental supervision, and it was not an easy time of my life.

Speaker 1:

So when he did finally come and pick me up, I think it was, uh, must've been November of my senior year and he said you know, you've got two choices. You can either continue down this path that you're on and probably be dead by the end of the year, or, you know, you can come, stay with me for just a year and get your GED and go to a trade school, and I knew deep inside at that moment that that was one of those pivotal life moments where it was like this is do or die, where you're either going to like pull yourself from the ashes and rise strong or you're going to create a life that's really, you know, built on a weak foundation. So I chose to go with him and you know over that year or so that I lived with him. I had to like work through a lot of my abandonment, wound issues from him, because I did see him with his new family for the first time and I felt very jealous and I felt angry that he hadn't been there for me and I also didn't know how to exist in his world because the world I came from, being raised with my mother and some pretty horrible stepfathers, I didn't understand his world. He was deeply religious and different than anything that I knew. So it was quite a shock, but also there was a lot of healing there because I finally got to kind of know him.

Speaker 1:

Then, when I was going through, I was leaving a relationship, those were really hard and I kept thinking like as fast forward, like a couple of decades, and I went and saw my dad and I was in this period of exploration where I thought, like why do I have such horrible relationships or luck in love, and why can't I have life better? Like why is it so horrible for me all of the time when it comes to love and romance? Because that was really the big pain point for me. And I thought I'm going to go look at my family of origin with a sense of curiosity and not judgment and just see maybe what am I missing about who I am, so that I can grow and evolve and finally kind of have the kind of relationships that I want. And so I went and visited my dad with my kids and I went without judgment. I went without any kind of preconceived notion.

Speaker 1:

I wanted to know who he was as a man and it was really interesting because he was too busy Obviously he was often too busy and, um, I just said, don't worry, I'm going to get a hotel and the kids and I are going to stay in there, we're just going to visit and you can come and have dinner with us once or twice. And so we ended up actually spending a lot of time together that weekend and I learned a lot about him as a man and his life and the decisions he made and his childhood and his father's life, and I learned about him not as my father but just as a man, and I think sometimes we forget that our parents are just humans who are doing the best they can with the skills that they had available to him, to them, and my dad had the same experience. I think his dad left when he was little and he was left with a stepdad and I'm not sure about the ancestors before him, but in his line men left and that's just how it was. And I also have a lot of empathy for him because I know how my mom was. I know a lot of the things that she did to control and manipulate the way that we saw him and that he didn't really have any control over it because she did have so much influence over his two girls, which is sad because her manipulation and her destructive behavior trying to hide her own lies and the things that she was doing to us robbed him the experience of being a dad to his daughters, like she robbed him that experience. So I'm sharing this story with you because one I love my dad a lot, like we have a lot of challenges, we both butt heads a lot, um, but I love him and I also have a lot of compassion for the choices that he made in fatherhood.

Speaker 1:

And also, you know, I'm also angry about it sometimes, cause I'm like, wow, I wish you would have saved me. I wish you would have come in and saved me from the environment that I was being raised in. My stepfather was a horrible man and my stepmom told me later once that my stepdad even went to my dad once and said you should save the girls from us. And I don't remember the exact story because she's passed now. But when I was like really unraveling, kind of like what it was really like growing up with him, she did say oh, I remember that he actually came to us once and said that. And so I got even more mad because I was like wait a minute, why did you not come and save us? Because I was like wait a minute, why did you not come and save us? And I don't have any anger towards him about it, because I really don't think he understood my mom was very good at manipulation. I really don't think he understood the environment that we were being raised in, because I think he was kind of under the same, you know, zone of manipulation that the rest of the world was.

Speaker 1:

So, when we're looking at our relationships with our fathers, hopefully most of you don't have that kind of a story, but sometimes we carry that wound with us and it might be that we didn't feel safe or protected in some way and unfortunately, I think, especially over the last couple of decades, a lot of families have treated fathers as if they were just disposable and I find that to be really sad. Or, you know, women might have been very controlling, like in my family and then the father lost that connection with his children. And I think that there doesn't need to be any blame when we explore this topic, but I do think we just need to acknowledge that the wound is there, and the wound is there on all of humanity Because fatherless children tend to not have the same kind of structure, they don't have the same protection, they don't have the same sense of felt safety in the world that children who have fathers feel, and so you know that lack of safety can create in my own life, very controlling behaviors, always wanting to control everything so I can try to create safety around me, which I know is a trauma response, right. So I can see how it's rippled down to my own children and how I see them making choices now and I'm like, oh my God, that's from me. I'm so sorry, I love you, I messed up, but also like you wouldn't be here if I didn't make those choices. So I love you and also I'm glad you're here, so let's heal that wound together.

Speaker 1:

So what I love about the Enneagram and what it has given to me is a map of things I need to look at when I'm not making the progress that I'm making, and I would say in the area of the father wound, this is especially true. So I'm going to ask you some questions and then, at the end of these questions, I would you know, if you have time to like sit down and actually think about it and write it out. It's really a good way of activating those old memories that are contributing to your unconscious programming. So what I mean by that is for me, I always pick someone who will leave me or who will reject me, based on my definition of love and what that like masculine represents in my life. So, almost unconsciously, I'm attracted to people who will absolutely 100% reject me and then walk away so that I can continue proving that I'm not lovable. Now I've done a lot of work on this, so don't go like all boohoo on me. It's fine. I get where it all came from. I also know how it's tied into my purpose. I also know that wound is a lot deeper than I like to admit and that there's still some work to do on it, even though I live in a creative orientation most of the time.

Speaker 1:

That wound is the one that often prevents me from getting the love that I want in my life, or creating it or picking people who want to meet me there. So there's some great books on this topic. One is called Getting the Love that you Want, and it's really about how our unconscious programming prevents us from selecting partners that are going to be in alignment with our highest and best good, because we're selecting from our wound, not from our path of highest potential, and then we get mad at them for being exactly who we picked. So there's some really great books on that. I have a program on it. I'm writing a new program or I'm reinventing an old program that I wrote called Heartbreak 911, to help you heal the wounds of narcissistic abuse or abandonment in order to get the love that you want. So I'll put some more information about that program that's coming up. And also now I'm just going to invite you to like, maybe, take out a journal and do some writing and reflection.

Speaker 1:

Now we all have a predominant personality type. That is our main personality and that's your Enneagram number. Like I'm, an Enneagram 7. And we all also have all parts and aspects of all of the other types. So, even though I might be asking a question about a different type, I would recommend that you consider what aspects of you that that might incorporate. For instance, a seven has no direct link to a four, but I would say a lot of my shadow has been in the four, and looking at, like, the sadness and the pain that I was ignoring, which is kind of the four, which is the opposite of the seven, which likes to live in that sadness and longing, helped me realize where a lot of my unconscious patterns were and then. So I'm just going to invite you to listen and to think about all of the questions, not just the ones that are, you know, relevant to your Enneagram type, all of the questions not just the ones that are, you know, relevant to your Enneagram type. And then we're going to do a wonderful release exercise at the end of this.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you're in Soma Rising or Soma Tribe my membership I'm going to put a full, beautiful Kuan Yin Healing the Father Wound journey. That includes ancestral healing, inner child shadow work, and if you've been in my membership, you know that those journeys are really beautiful and I like listening to that myself, but I will be putting that up later. I just wanted to create this exercise so that you have a tool to come back to and really examine, like, where is this wound coming up for you and how is it impacting your relationships, your wealth, your purpose, success, your health, even, and your ability to fully embody your path of highest potential, where you're just allowed to have it all. And a lot of people have these unconscious programs or contracts written with their father that say I'm not going to have more success than you, so that you never feel like a failure. Or I'm not going to know love more than you know love, so that you won't ever feel like you were the only unlovable one. Or I won't know the love of you know this type of person, so that I never have to change the way that I see you, and there's so many interesting unconscious programs and contracts that we write with our parents, and sometimes those are the things that just need to be looked at so that we can move forward in our life to create what we want instead of what we know. And with that, I'm going to invite you to just pull out a pen and a paper and we're going to go through some of the Enneagram types and I'm just going to ask you a few questions and invite you to think about things in a new light. So the Enneagram, for those of you who don't know, is like your soul's emergency backup system. You who don't know is like your soul's emergency backup system. It's the coping mechanism that we developed as children to survive unmet needs and it's like this map to our unconscious, to our agenda, like our personality structure. There's nothing wrong with it. Like your soul literally picked the exact life that you had so that you would become that Like. Whenever I compare gene keys to the Enneagram, they're almost always very similar, like the shadows and the strengths and all of the different things. So let's talk about type one, the reformer.

Speaker 1:

The father wound pattern was often experienced as critical, rigid or emotionally distant father figure, and they may have felt only conditionally loved when they were good or morally upright. So in love this tends to show up with partners that they can fix or those who meet high internal standards. They may attract partners who reinforce a sense of duty or criticism. And the question I have for you is in your life like is, are you attracted to and this could be friendships, this could be your intimate relationships Are you attracted to people that you can fix? Are you always looking for ways that they can improve and are you setting them up never to meet your internal standard of partnership or any kind of relationship? This could be your boss, this could be anyone. And where in your life are you doing that? Maybe it's with your children, maybe it's with yourself. You know, we'll usually see it first with the relationships that we have with others, and then the invitation for you is to let go of the perfection as a path to love and embrace softness, spontaneity and the idea that you are worthy even when imperfect.

Speaker 1:

The Enneagram 2 is the helper and the father wound. Pattern was that they felt unseen or emotionally neglected, learned to be valuable by meeting other people's needs, they got quiet and they learned that somewhere along the line if they just took care of everyone else then they would be lovable In love. They tend to be drawn to emotionally unavailable partners that they can heal to earn love, often overgiven hopes of receiving scraps of affection. One of the things I learned in the Enneagram course that I found interesting was the type two like. It's almost like they have this internal struggle where if the other person loves them equally, then they feel unlovable, so they almost need to love more so that they can earn love. It's an unconscious strategy. Most people have no idea that it's happening, so I'll just say that all of these are unconscious. I bet most people have no idea that it's happening, so I'll just say that all of these are unconscious. I bet most people have no idea that this is even happening in the background.

Speaker 1:

The healing invitation for the type two is to one let's look at where are you not allowing yourself to receive love, to receive help, to receive support, and who around you may want to do that for you, but maybe it's challenging for you. Or do you feel like you always have to repay it, like, oh, if you do this for me, then I have to do this for you in order for me to still belong. And then the healing invitation is you don't have to be needed to be loved. You, um should learn to receive, to ask and to be fully met where you are. My type three is the achievers.

Speaker 1:

Uh, the father wound pattern is that love felt performance-based. Uh, dad may have praised success but withheld emotion or connection emotional connection A lot of the time. These kids were only ever rewarded by success and this creates this overwhelming drive to be successful at all costs. They tend to be attracted to partners who look good on paper or who reinforce their image, and they may ignore their own emotional needs in favor of appearances. So they might either be attracted I see type threes being attracted to type twos a lot because they're so nurturing and they're missing that ability to self nurture. They're so nurturing and they're missing that ability to self-nurture, but then also very image-based, right Like? It's like how beautiful are you or how handsome are you? How much money are you pulling in? How can you support the image that I want the world to see me in? So I invite you to just explore that for yourself. Where have you compromised connection, love, vulnerability, commitment in order to pick someone who's the ideal image, and are you still trying to impress your father with the person that you picked? Is that still part of the strategy? Because sometimes that happens too, where you marry the person that you think would make your father love you finally or more, or give you that connection or approval that you've been seeking? The healing invitation here is true. Intimacy doesn't require a mask. You are lovable for who you are, not what you do.

Speaker 1:

The type four is the individualist, the romantic. The father wound pattern often stems from a place of being feeling misunderstood, emotionally disconnected the father's emotionally disconnected or flat out rejected by a father who didn't get their sensitivity and creativity, who didn't get their sensitivity and creativity. Maybe you heard, like, man up or like you know, clamp down those emotions, things like that, turn it off. Because you know, maybe the father couldn't handle the emotions, because type fours have a lot of big feelings and if you were raised by a father who really couldn't handle those big emotions, they might have asked you to suppress or repress them and that would have, like, created this almost sense of self abandonment, um, and also that yearning to just always be very unique, um, and never to fit in, um, in love it, they tend to seek.

Speaker 1:

Type fours tend to seek depth and emotional intensity, almost at the cost of the relationship, where the other person is set up to not be able to ever meet their intensity, and sometimes it turns into almost like an intellectual emotional experience, which is an interesting way to explain it, so I'll think if I can find a better way of explaining it. They tend to be attracted to partners who just feel out of reach, perpetuating the story of longing. Type four's shadow is like this longing and never being able to receive. Like this longing and never being able to receive. And so they tend to set up the experience where they are always going to long for love but never actually to manifest it into receiving it. So I'm going to ask you, where are you trapped in longing for love or longing for connection and not allowing yourself to actually ever receive it? And if you've met someone who was maybe secure, available and wanting to build something with you, did you unconsciously reject them because your wound wasn't attracted to their availability? Did it, you know? Did you decide that you needed to continue longing for something you couldn't have? The healing invitation here would be you don't need to suffer to be special.

Speaker 1:

Choose partners who offer consistency, not chaos. Our type five, the investigators we're going to move into the head triad. This is fun, I love I'm a head triad. So I'm like, oh, where are we not feeling? And we're just thinking we're feeling.

Speaker 1:

Type fives, the investigators. The father wound pattern tended to be an emotionally or physically absent father, leading to a sense of self-reliance and emotional detachment. Type fives dealt with their fears and their pain by becoming very good and studious and learning, and they tend to isolate and feel uncomfortable with their emotions in favor of being more in that space of. I just want to learn more In love. They may choose emotionally low demanding partners or remain in the realm of the mind. Fear of vulnerability often blocks deeper intimacy. Whenever I coach people who are dating a five, I'm like okay, well, number one, if you're having a hard conversation with them, let them go away for 24 hours before they reply, cause they really do need that space and time to think about what you said. Um, but that that's a whole nother topic which I cover in my programs. But um, which I cover in my programs, but the I want you to think about.

Speaker 1:

Where do you emotionally detach in your partnerships, in your relationships. It could be with your children, with your friends, it could be with your spouse or someone you're dating in order to stay in your mind, like in, and in your own experience or your own knowledge. Or, you know, maybe you really like to study and so you go. You know, reject going with people because you'd rather stay home and learn or expand on your information and knowledge instead of experiencing life and love. So think about that and then the healing invitation for you is safety doesn't come from withdrawal. Let yourself be known, even in small ways.

Speaker 1:

Uh, the Enneagram six. I was married to a six. This is the loyalist. Um, the father wound pattern was that they experienced inconsistency, unpredictability or fear. In the father. Dynamic trust was fragile or lacking. Type six is really like authority. They either rebel against it or they like embrace it. You'll find a lot of them in the military or law enforcement. They thrive in structured environments and the type six has this underlying fear and anxiety pattern and I think it did definitely came from a place of fear and fear-based thinking and instead of suppressing it or intellectualizing it, they embody it. So they're always looking out for things that are fear-based. So they're great conspiracy theorists and they also are very loyal and they have many beautiful qualities that I love.

Speaker 1:

But type sixes tend to be drawn to partners who provide a sense of security, so someone that gives them a sense of safety, but they also might mistrust them at the same time, and then they often look to their partner as a source of stability. I know in my own marriage like I was the one who got us through like the really hard times, like when the economy crashed and jobs were lost I would be the one that came up with the plan the sense of safety and security, like everything's going to be fine. Let's just keep moving forward. Here's the plan and now you execute. So it was a great dynamic because they also can detect threats. They're really good at, you know, keeping a family safe, but in love it's really hard for them with that high level of anxiety and it can be hard for them with that high level of anxiety and it can be hard for their partner to hold space for that. So, if you can relate to anything I'm saying, I'm asking like, where are you maybe meeting someone and not trusting them, or looking for all of the ways that they might hurt you? Or maybe are you creating conspiracy theories about this person as a way of not actually having to be intimate with them, to be present, to fully embody your emotions and not your mind, to overcome the anxiety? Where are you not allowing yourself to just love and feel safe in the energy of love instead of fear? The healing invitation for the type six is to anchor into your own inner safety, and trust is built from within, not just with another, so that deep sense of loyalty and trust that you're looking for should be anchored in the core of who you are.

Speaker 1:

Type seven the enthusiast. We may have had a distracted, absent or emotionally unavailable father, leading to a sense of avoidance around pain. Type sevens tend to create fantasies about people in order to deal with the brutal reality of what was going on. So they're the most likely to have created a fantasy vision of who their parents were in order to deal with really painful truths. Unfortunately, this pattern goes into your adult relationships with yourself, with others, with the world around you. It is one of the greatest gifts that we have is to be able to see the positive and the highest path. It's also hard when trying to reconcile when someone's being mean to you or when they're um, not acting in your highest and best good.

Speaker 1:

So my question is is there a place in your relationships it could be the one that you have with your partner or someone you might be dating, interested in, um, or even like a work relationship, or the relationship that you have with your kids or yourself where you've created a fantasy of potential instead of actually meeting them where they're at? Is that playing out in any of your relationships, and what are you avoiding looking at in the truth of who these people are? What is it that you're afraid to see? But mostly, what is it that you're afraid that will mean about you? Because type sevens tend to have a lot of self-reflection and they think a lot of other people's behavior means something about them. And they think a lot of other people's behavior means something about them, and usually it's a deep fear of rejection or being trapped in pain. So look at the relationships that you have or you've had and say, like, where did the fantasy not meet the reality? And what was I unwilling to look at?

Speaker 1:

Type sevens turn red flags into green flags on the fly. When I was taking an Enneagram and relationship course, I was like, well, that sucks, because I do that I turn a red flag into a green flag faster than I even can like process in my own head because of the way I was raised. Like when you're raised by people who do not nice things to children, you have to turn that night not nice thing into something positive as you're going through it, otherwise I think it would just destroy you. So there's a reason behind it and you know it served a purpose. And when we do inner child healing work like that's the parts that we work with, inner child healing work like that's the parts that we work with. But we have to be willing to look at where is the fantasy not matching up with reality, what's real, not what we, what we perceived that was possible. The healing invitation for the type sevens is your joy is real and so is your grief and it won't kill you to process it and let it go. You don't need to outrun the pain to find love that lasts. Like I know, like it was funny. I was right. I was preparing for my heartbreak course and I was thinking about, like the behaviors that that each type does and it said, um, uh, type sevens probably planned a vacation and I was like, oh, why are we so predictable? I literally just felt the pain of heartbreak and I immediately booked a trip to Nashville, like within seconds. I was like, oh man, this Enneagram stuff, it's true, accurate and we should pay more attention to it.

Speaker 1:

Type eights the challenger, the father wound pattern, may have been experienced as control, conflict or just outright emotional neglect, leading to a survival mode of strength and self-protection. And then, in love, they tend to be attracted to partners they can't fully trust. Or they have to dominate and they may't fully trust, or they have to dominate and they may struggle to soften or show vulnerability. So type eights tend to like to to fight, and so they like to create arguments and play that way. That's how they love like, um, I, I have a whole course on any agreement love and like it is. This is part of the way that they show love and it's funny because they're often attracted to type twos and type twos are like but that's not how I feel love, and I'm like, yeah, you to think about.

Speaker 1:

When you're about to feel vulnerable with someone and it could be yourself, it could be, you know, a coworker or someone that you live with or love Do you start a fight with them in order to maybe put a little wall up of that vulnerability. Do you create an argument or engage in combative conversations, and why, like? What is the intention behind it? And there's nothing wrong with it, like, I understand the personality Well, I'm a seven with a strong eight wing, so I understand it well. But I would just ask, like to invite you, like, where are you creating a conflict, for one doesn't exist, and how's that working out for you, my friend? That's what I'm going to ask. How's that working out for you? Um, if you said well, then I'm going to invite you to come and do my love course, because it's probably not working out as well as you think. Healing invitation is, strength is in surrender, and letting love in is the bravest thing that you will ever do, not conquering the planet.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my Enneagram. Nines, my peacemakers. I have a nine daughter. It is it's hard watching her go through the nine patterns of um merging with people and trying to figure out who she is and um, but I have so much love for her and the way that she sees the world. Uh, nines often experienced an emotionally neglectful father, um being dismissed like they didn't exist, or that none of their needs mattered, or they felt very invisible and they learned to stay quiet, to maintain peace, to choke down their words, to choke down their anger and to repress and suppress it. And it's funny, when I'm talking to her I'll be like I bet your gut's swollen right now and she's like, how did you know? And I'm like, cause I'm a well one, I'm an intuitive. And two, I know the Enneagram, like I know that when you're suppressing your anger, like your gut's going to get bloated it happens every time and um, so also, you know, I think it comes from a I'm going to just play dead until the storm has passed is kind of like what I see the nine doing, where they almost become narcoleptic to life in order to avoid conflict, because conflict was so big for them and usually it was like this just fear of the masculine energy around them.

Speaker 1:

And for male nines, probably your own masculine energy at times is something that you're afraid of and I'm going to invite you to think about that and also learn how to embody it, because it's a beautiful thing. The masculine energy, when it's healed and like in its full power, is actually just a beautiful energy that the world needs, by the way. Beautiful energy that the world needs. By the way, in love they're drawn to stronger personalities or partners who make decisions, because nines are very indecisive and they may lose themselves in the relationship. Nines tend to vary.

Speaker 1:

I was just talking to somebody about this yesterday because they were saying well, every time I say this to this person, they agree and I'm like that's because they're a nine. You can't ever expect a nine to be honest with you right to your face all of the time. I'm not saying that's not ever. So type my thoughts out there. Please don't take that offensively. But when they walk away from what they're in your energy and they're like agreeing because everything you say sounds amazing in that moment, and then they walk away and reconnect back to themselves and go. Actually, I don't want to do that. Why did I just agree to that? But in order to avoid conflict, they don't. They don't like come back and tell you that they just assume you figured it out when they didn't show up. So that is my daughter and I love her. I love her so much and I am so grateful for her. But that's also every nine I've ever dated. And so that's just type nines out there.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to invite you to say like, where are you losing yourself in a relationship? Where do you not speak up and say this is what I need, I matter, what I want matters. And where are you also not giving yourself space to be with someone in their intense energy and then say also give me a moment to think and I'll come back and answer you later? Or where, maybe, are you people pleasing in your life and this goes to everybody and agreeing to something that you really don't want to do and then being angry about it and being mad at the other person for forcing you to do something that you didn't really want to do in the first place? And where are you staying quiet in your life to maintain peace? Where are you not speaking your truth? It's important that you recognize that truth. It's important that you recognize that and learn the skill of speaking up and feeling safe and asking for what you need. And that's true for everybody, not just nines.

Speaker 1:

The healing invitation specifically for the nine is that your voice matters. Love doesn't mean disappearing. It means being fully seen for who you are and what you offer and what your needs are, and just being loved because you deserve it, being adored. So, with that said, hopefully this gave you some insight into the different types of personality structures and the different woundings. A lot of it centers around neglect and abandonment and anger, like feeling scared or intimidated. And it's interesting, like even when I was working in corporate America, my boss always said anytime you get around strong males, you just clam up. It doesn't matter what your opinion is or what you think about, like, you just get quiet. And I know that a lot of that came from being raised with a very angry, drunk in the home and feeling like I have to say the right thing, otherwise this could go south pretty quick. Um, so, with that said, um, I'm gonna invite you now, if you are on um listening to the replay, make sure you have a pen and paper and if you want, you could listen to this one time through.

Speaker 1:

I'm also in the tribe, going to go ahead and post some more questions to explore the relationship with your father, and I want to say that none of this is bad. Like the more I heal the way I see my father, the more love I have for him, not less. Like the more I do this with people, the better relationship I have with my son, the men in my life and the relationship that I have with my father has only improved from being willing to explore the impact that it's still having on me and then letting it go and just being like, oh okay, that's where that wound came from, but now I can, like release it and decide how I would like it to be instead. So with that, we're going to go ahead and do this really cool process called the perceptual shift and I'm going to invite you, if you're driving, just listen along. We're going to work with your super conscious.

Speaker 1:

So anytime I do super conscious work and I tell people this, cause they're like I don't have time to meditate, and I'm like oh, that's why I created my meditation library the way that I did, because you can listen to it while you're out walking. You can listen to it while you're driving, because we're working with super conscious, which is the highest level of consciousness. You don't have to be in a quiet meditative zone, you can just listen to them while you're living. I'll listen to it at the mall, I'll listen to it anywhere. I feel like I'm about to sing a Dr Seuss song here Because we're working with a different level of consciousness. You don't have to be in a meditative state.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you're really stuck and you're not shifting something, maybe you do need to do a little bit more writing and a little bit more of a deep dive and unpacking. It just depends on where you're at in your journey and how stuck you are in your life. If you're continually living in a victim consciousness like life is happening to me that's what I mean by that or you know, if you're not having the kind of relationships you want, if you think that the dating scene sucks and there's nobody available out there, if you think you're buying the narrative that love isn't available for you or that you'll only ever be attracted to the bad boy, or you're only going to be attracted to the narcissist, or whatever your storyline is, then I'm going to invite you to do this work, because that can shift, when you choose to shift, how you perceive the world. I know lots of people who have met and gotten married off of dating apps. I have met lots of people who have met the old-fashioned way. There are a lot of people out there who are not toxic, who are ready to have a healthy, secure relationship with someone else, but as long as your wound is the one leading the way, you're not going to be able to see them and you certainly won't be attracted to them. So I know that's a bold statement, but it's true.

Speaker 1:

All right, I'm going to now invite you to do this powerful process with me, and if you're someplace where you can do some writing, you can write, or you can just listen along and come back. I'm going to this will be about my podcast, so you can come back to this as often as you want and you can. If you have a stepfather or another masculine energy who is heavily influencing your life growing up, you can also use it with them and it might help you uncover some of the other wounds that have prevented you from having the kind of love you want, the kind of success you want, the kind of purpose, fulfillment, health, even all areas of our life are impacted by the unconscious program that was created when we were young. So, with that, take a nice deep breath in and, when you're ready, grant me access to your super conscious field. So the can. Changes can be made on all levels of consciousness. And if you haven't ever done a recode before, I'm going to invite you to go watch the intro recode on my YouTube channel so that your all levels of consciousness, understand the process, but you can still get a lot of benefit from this exercise right now.

Speaker 1:

So take a nice deep breath in and just allow everything that we've talked about today to settle in, and just give yourself this space this time to think about something that you want, that feels stuck in your life. Maybe it's the relationship that you have isn't the way that you want it, or maybe you're single or, recently, heartbroken. Perhaps your career isn't going the way that you want it, or money isn't flowing with the ease and grace that you would like. Maybe you feel burned out or unhealthy. Perhaps you're battling an illness or disease and you don't understand why this keeps happening to you. Perhaps it's, you know, maybe the relationship that you have with your own children, or just yourself. Where do you not feel empowered in your life? In In what area? Is it your home or work? Allow yourself to come up with one area of your life today.

Speaker 1:

Now, sometimes people want to focus on many. Today, I'm going to invite you to just focus on one. Pick the easiest one. If this is your first time doing this kind of exercise. Maybe you want to lose a little weight or go on a vacation, but you can't seem to get the money to do it, or perhaps you're being really impacted by the current political environment and you're really fired up about it. It doesn't matter. Pick one and, once you have it, maybe write it down what's the problem that you're struggling with. Maybe write it down what's the problem that you're struggling with and it doesn't matter right now if you know how this is linked or not to the father wound or the masculine wound, and take a deep breath in and allow that problem to just be in the field of awareness. How is this problem stopping you in your life? Like, if it's, you know, as simple as I would like a nicer car. Would you believe that that would give you a bigger house, more money and super conscious? Can you begin to create the perfect treatment plan in the perfect way, aligning all parts and aspects with a solution that's of the path of highest potential in all areas of life?

Speaker 1:

Allow the emotions to just begin to arise. If you're angry right now, I invite you to stay in that energy. What are you angry about? You're angry about money. What is it that you're mad about? If you're angry about your love life, or at your ex, or at your current partner. What are you angry about? Just allow yourself to let those thoughts, emotions, the sensations in your body to arise.

Speaker 1:

How could life have been different if you didn't have the upbringing that you did? What are you mad about? What do you resent? Maybe you're sad, perhaps you're afraid of letting go of the past and moving forward. Where do you feel a deep sense of guilt and shame about something you have created in your life, something that's happening right now, maybe something that you didn't create, that's just happening to you? Allow all of that to just be in your field now and take a deep breath in, and, if you have guides that you like to work with, we'll just call in all benevolent guides that are of love or above to help you on your journey today, to make you feel supported and seen, commanding that any energy that isn't love or above.

Speaker 1:

Leave your space now so that you can only receive the information that is of the highest and best good for you in this moment in time, not needing to remember the trauma of your past, simply to understand the emotional imprint that it left in your field, so that your superconscious can treat it all where it lives, in space and time, for we are only working with the energy, the imprint, the impact that it is having on your life today. So I would like you to imagine, if you could imagine, that you're walking in a beautiful forest this is a sacred forest, a forest that's very familiar and just breathe in and breathe out and look around and notice the forest around you as you just choose to become more relaxed, notice the trees in the sky, the blue sky above you radiating warmth on your skin. I notice the clouds rolling by, inviting you to be present, to be here now, to relax, to feel grounded, supported by Mother Earth in the present moment, knowing that you do not need to go on this journey. You can hit stop now. It is only by your free will that you choose to explore some of these wounds, but I invite you to check in with yourself. Does this feel safe for you now, or should you hit the stop button and come back to this at a time that's more important? Or could you just ask your higher self to make sure that only information that is relevant to creating a life you love come through today, nothing else and nothing more. Just a small fragment of information that will help you move forward and take a step towards the direction of your highest potential, because that is always an option to put pain into a smaller container, to process it in a way that feels safe and comfortable to you. Remember that you are always in charge of your reality, including your journey of healing and your journey of remembering who you are, a journey back to your higher self. You're the captain of the ship and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise and take a deep breath in.

Speaker 1:

I notice on the forest path in front of you there are some downed trees. These trees represent old pain, old trauma, old memories, maybe from this lifetime or past lifetime, and with the help of your super conscious, it just dissolves those down trees. No need to remember, no need to re-experience or harm the main personality. It just simply dissolves the pain, the trauma, the emotions that have been trapped in your field so that you can walk forward in life with more strength, courage and authority, with love and freedom. Super conscious, do you understand the metaphor we are using today? Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Now, as you walk down this path, you're starting to feel a little bit lighter, a little bit more curious, more open. That's right. That feels better, doesn't it? To feel more curious, more empowered, more open, more curious. Make your curiosity a little bit stronger now. If you could be more curious, what would that feel like if you were allowed to be even more curious about this journey today, a little excited to release something that's no longer serving you, to be free, breathe in and breathe out, and breathe in and breathe out At any time you feel uncertain. Simply place your hand on your chest and say I return to me now and I invite you to be grounded, be and be in choice. So breathe in and breathe out.

Speaker 1:

As you walk down the path, you'll notice a clearing ahead. This is a beautiful, sacred clearing where souls come to resolve energetic conflict between one another, to release old hurts, old pain, so that they can move forward in compassion and forgiveness, and breathe in and breathe out. In this clearing are small, tiny purple flowers, and you notice them blowing in the wind gently. As you step into the clearing, you feel the divine protection of higher consciousness all around you, knowing that this is a sacred, safe moment that your souls had already determined was going to happen. Before you, you see three chairs and you sit down in chair number one. In chair number two, directly across from you, we invite your father, or the masculine energy that needs to be released today from your field so you can have healthy love, money, health, success.

Speaker 1:

Whatever it is that you wrote down, we see the wound, the father, come. However, it shows up for you today. Perhaps it's your actual birth father, perhaps it was a step parent or another masculine that simply had an impact on your early childhood development. Don't try to control it. Just allow them to sit in the chair across from you, knowing that you are completely grounded, safe and protected. How are they showing up today? What do they look like to you and maybe just write down a few notes? How old do they look? Is it this lifetime or another lifetime? Perhaps it's a grandfather or a brother who's sitting across from you, and how do they look to you? How do you feel in your body looking across at them? What does it feel like in your body? And breathe into it, that area of your body, breathe light into that area of your body.

Speaker 1:

Super conscious. Please treat all body systems that are holding on to fear, holding on to trauma patterns, holding on to pain. Please treat and do a massive change history. Please regulate the nervous system. Please activate the vagal nerve and any other nerves that need to be activated in order to create an experience of safety, curiosity, release and momentum moving forward. Yeah, super conscious, do you see that in the field? Yes, please treat that and do a massive change, history and everything else needed. Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Now, as you're looking across and you know you are safe and protected, maybe put an invisible wall between you, an energetic wall, so none of their energy can come through. What are they wearing? What is their body language like? Do you notice a smell, a symbol, perhaps a bird or a boat, something? Notice the fear in your chest and allow it to be there and notice that you can put your attention there and ask your superconscious to start dissolving all unprocessed emotions that are trapped in your physical body, your emotional body, your mental body and your energetic body. Take a deep breath in and out. What do they represent to you in relation to this problem? Notice, is there any energy around them? Like a shadow a a smoke, some kind of illusion? What do you see around their energy field around them? Do you have a deep sense of love for them? It doesn't always have to be something negative. What do you want most for them? This person sitting across from you? What were you hoping that they would see in you? What did you want from them? And just allow yourself to notice and we're going to ask your superconscious to continue to tag and treat all of the resistance in the field across all time, dimension, space and realities.

Speaker 1:

Now lift your consciousness up out of your chair and just notice all three chairs sitting beneath you. The third chair is your superconscious and this is the chair that will be creating a treatment plan and coming up with a resolution for you today, up with a resolution for you today. Now drop your consciousness into chair number two and breathe through the lungs of the masculine figure that showed up today. See through their eyes and settle into their body and look back at the version of you sitting in chair number one. What do they see of you sitting in chair number one? What do they see? What are they experiencing looking at you? Is it shame, frustration or something else?

Speaker 1:

Superconscious, please treat all of that and do a massive change, history and everything else needed. Please treat the anger, the hate and the burden. Please treat across all time, dimensions, space and realities. Look back at the version of you staring at this masculine energy. What were they getting from you? What did they take from you? How did they see you? It might not have been as a child. They might have had distortions that saw you as an adult. They might have felt weak or controlled by something outside of them, like a substance. What was it that's controlling them and their perception of reality? Superconscious, please treat all entities. Please treat all addictions. Please treat all karma.

Speaker 1:

Now lift your consciousness up and hover it above the circle again and notice that there's a lot going on in there, and now drop your consciousness into chair number three, into your superconscious. Let go of everything and just see. Between the space, there are two souls sitting across from one another. There are humans entangled in a contract of some kind that is no longer serving them energetically, mentally, emotionally or physically. What needs to shift that they cannot see? What is keeping them bound? That is no longer serving them? Super conscious, do you understand the instructions? Yes, please identify all of the things that need to shift today, creating the perfect treatment plan in the perfect way. Yes, please treat all of that resistance in the field. Please treat family contracts. Please treat all DNA, body systems, energy systems. Please treat all identity level beliefs. Please treat the Akashic records, all contracts that are no longer in service to these individuals. Please complete those contracts where they exist in time and space, marking them complete if the lessons have been integrated and learned.

Speaker 1:

Please treat all of the pain across all lifetimes, superconscious. Do you see these two souls just entangled life after life, trying to resolve this pain? Can you please treat all lifetimes, all timelines, all quantum entanglements. Thank you, please treat into a massive change history, treating it with peace, compassion and love. Please treat the wound of narcissism, the wound of chasing and never receiving. Please treat the wounds of the masculine, the wounds of the feminine, all the way back to the beginning of this line, across all time, dimension, space and realities. I surrender, breathe Now.

Speaker 1:

Lift your consciousness up out of the superconscious and back down into your chair, chair number one. Breathe in through your lungs and see through your eyes, feel into your fingers and toes and look back at the masculine who showed up today, your father or another male? Have they shifted? Do you see them differently? Now, notice your body. How does it feel different or does it feel the same? Superconscious, please treat the sadness, the grief, the longing. Please treat all fear patterns. Please treat all shame and guilt, the anger. Please treat all part-time personalities that are ready to integrate into the main personality so that you can have more love, more peace, more flow in your life. Please treat with presence and patience and kindness. Kindness made you kind. The wounds of the ego have kept you separate. I've kept you hurting, have kept you alone, not your higher self. Breathe in and breathe out.

Speaker 1:

Now, notice behind this man sitting in the chair across from you, or this masculine energy, other souls that have created a similar pain for you. Notice that you don't need to know who they are, but allow them to stand behind the chair now, for these cords have been preventing you from having the life that you want. Notice where in your body these cords are attached. Is it in your throat or your spine? Where are these cords, these energetic imprints living in your space? And now we're going to invite Archangel Michael to come in and, when you're ready, see his blade of divine light drop down and cut those cords, sending them back with love, releasing them to energy to be healed by the 10th dimension, to be removed from your physical body, your energetic body, your emotional body, your mental body, clearing all cords and contracts. Mental body clearing all cords and contracts, releasing that energy now from all of your chakras, your meridians, release it back to source for healing and notice that your body may feel a little bit lighter.

Speaker 1:

And now we're going to call in a light above your head. This is the divine light of healing and love. It's a ball of white light just above your head and connect in with it and allow love to flow down into the top of your head, all the way down your spine to the bottom of your feet, into the center of your head, all the way down your spine to the bottom of your feet, into the center of the earth, where it connects in and pulls up pink earth energy from the core of the earth, pulling that up through your feet, your legs, your hips, all the way up your spine, so that you have energy coming from above, divine love, flowing down into your body, into every cell of your being, pulling up and grounding you into earth energy that playful, joyful, nurturing energy that is available to you. Pull it up through your feet now, filling your body with grounded, nurturing divine love. See the energy flowing up and down and expanded three feet around your body, allowing your entire unconscious to be restructured, reorganized and recoded in alignment with your path of highest potential, in alignment with your path of highest potential. See your heart so full of this love that it just expands out all around you. This is your divine birthright to be returned to love, to kindness, to be integrated with your higher self so that you may walk your path of highest potential.

Speaker 1:

These wounds are no longer yours to carry. You are free. Breathe in and, if you want, send love to the men or masculine energies across from you, returning their energy to source, no longer burdened by the stories, the energy or the contracts or the cords. And if you feel ready to forgive, look at the person in chair number two and say I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you, but just see this energy coming from above and flowing out of you, pulling in more divine light, more divine energy, more universal love, consciousness, so that it is just flowing out of you, not from you, but through you. And perhaps you'll say it together or separate I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. And breathe in and allow that light to fill up all of the cracks in your heart, the heartache, the pain, the loss, the grief. Fill up where the anger once lived with love. Fill the sadness with joy, fill the fear with courage, and fill the fear with courage and fill the shame with vulnerability, compassion, fill every cell of your body with love and now see the other person and anyone else who showed up today simply dissolving back to energy, back where they came from, and take a deep breath in and out.

Speaker 1:

And now walking across the field is your higher self, the future version of you, who has already created the thing that you want. See them standing before you. How do they move? What do they look like? What information do they have for you on your journey today about this problem that you came here to solve? What is the solution? Moving forward, what's the one thing you need to know to align with your path of highest potential in purpose, in wealth, in living an empowered life, super conscious. Please integrate the higher self in. Please remove all resistance and barriers to being fully integrated and aligned with the higher self. Please remove all patterns in the yeah, yeah, there, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Take a deep breath in. Allow your higher self to simply merge with you now so that you are super conscious. You are the future version of you. What decisions will you make today? What things will you do or accomplish? What hard conversations will you have? What will you do that you've been putting off? What are you committed to doing so that you can live from that place of higher consciousness, to be free to have love, peace, empowerment, to have all of the things you've ever wanted? What are you going to do today to simply be this new version of you?

Speaker 1:

Take a deep breath in, maybe put your hand on your heart and give yourself intense gratitude for being brave and going on this journey today, superconscious, please ground all memories we have touched today, including memories one, two and three, and return them to the matrix of the universe. You see yourself standing in this field, knowing it's time to return to your life, to return to your day. Feel yourself coming back into your body now, into the present moment, the present time, fully aware, fully conscious. Perhaps you should just tap on your chest, bring yourself back into your conscious awareness now. Take a deep breath and bring your awareness back to your body now. Feel the weight of your physical form, feel your feet connected to the earth, see grounding cords coming from the bottom of your feet going straight into the center of the earth, grounding you into the present moment, the present day, the present time, thanking all of your guides and ancestors for helping you on your journey today. All of your guides and ancestors for helping you on your journey today. Feel the steady rise and fall of your breath, connecting in, breathing in and breathing out, bringing you back into your conscious awareness. When you are ready, if you haven't already open your eyes, write down what you learned today. Take this knowledge and wisdom with you and just choose, from this moment forward, that you are a sovereign being. You are no longer the inner child, you are no longer the one who was wounded. You are going to walk your own path in your own power. You are empowered, strong and courageous. Be the hero of your own story. The world needs you to be. That was quite a powerful process. Whoever's listening to this had a lot of energy to shift today. So I thank you for being on this call and listening If you're listening on my podcast and I thank you for being brave and being willing to look at life and your life and what you've created.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people start the personal transformation journey and they stop when it gets hard and they stop when the wall of the I call it the dark night of the soul, or the shadow blocks them from moving on. And I want to invite you to, like, look at your life and say where have I stopped moving forward, because it was time to explore the shadow. Where in my life would I like things to be different? And also, what do I love about my life? What do I love that I got from my father? Oh, I could give you a list. I like my blue eyes, my height, I look like my Aunt Sally. There's so many things I love about that I got from my father my loyalty, just my commitment to like love and to loving people.

Speaker 1:

Um, I definitely got from my father. So am I hard work, ethic and knowing that things will work out? And there's just so many gifts that I got from him in my life. And, um, we never want to dismiss the beautiful things that we also got right, like sometimes we have to look at the hard stuff, but there's so many beautiful gifts too. And then, why did your soul pick him to be your dad? That's always a great question. Um, because there was a reason, an experience that he had to give you that was necessary on your soul's path. Give you that was necessary on your soul's path, and those are bigger, deeper questions.

Speaker 1:

But when you're ready, come join us in the tribe If you're interested. I have a membership where we explore this type of stuff and also other really cool fun stuff it's not always as heavy every week or twice a month Actually, we have close twice a month and also where you get to learn to develop your intuition and integrate with your higher self and your path of highest potential. Thank you so much for being on this call today. Now, if you're a Soma Rising member, I am going to record this in a beautiful journey with Kuan Yin, much like the other journeys and really like it's going to include a lot more ancestral healing and it's a really beautiful journey. I'll probably publish that by Friday and then, if you're not, I invite you to come explore Soma Tribe and see if it's for you. You know it's not very expensive. It's only $44 a month. You can cancel any time.

Speaker 1:

There's no long-term commitment, but this is one of the things that we do and I have a whole library of healing processes in there that help you shift your consciousness and to align with your higher self. We would love to have you in there. I would love to have you in there and, yeah, I hope you enjoyed this today and if you did and you can think of someone who might also benefit from healing this wound, please share it with them, because I think there's a lot of people walking around with a father wound that is not serving humanity, like it's just not serving humankind anymore. These wounds need to be healed so that we can move on as a society. All right, with that, much love to you and thank you for your time, and I look forward to possibly seeing you in the future. Take care.

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Tabitha MacDonald

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