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Conscious Communication Sneak Peak

• Tabitha MacDonald • Episode 50

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What if you could transform every conversation into a bridge of understanding and empathy, even in a polarized world? Join us as we explore the art of conscious communication through the inspiring journey of my client Joe, whose story is a testament to the power of open, honest dialogue. As societal upheavals continue to challenge our ability to connect, we'll uncover strategies that not only enhance our personal relationships but also encourage growth and adaptability in community and parenting dynamics.

Are you ready to feel supported on your healing journey?  The Soma Flow Library of Healing is now available.  With a powerful meditations, hypnosis sessions and Superconscious Recodes to restructure your unconscious patterns, this is a must have tool to your journey back to you.  

About Tabitha
Tabitha MacDonald is an Intuitive Coach and Healer committed to helping people overcome their pain as fast as possible so that they can have the love, success, freedom and fulfillment they truly desire.

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Speaker 1:

Hello, I wanted to tonight talk about conscious communication, especially in light of recent events. I have seen a lot of people coming into the office, you know, for body work and for coaching, who are really struggling with communication right now, and I was meditating on it earlier and it really came through to really talk about how to communicate consciously. There are a lot of people who are very triggered right now. They're very upset and you know, we recently had an election and when there is a major change in society good, bad or you know whatever, however you feel about it people tend to struggle with communication. It people tend to struggle with communication. They either speak from an old wound, a current wound, or a fear of the future, and I've seen this many, many years where it creates great divide in relationships, not only family relationships, but romantic relationships, work relationships, societal relationships, the relationship that we work relationships, societal relationships, the relationship that we have with ourself and with society at large. So I really want us to explore what does it mean to be someone who communicates consciously and also why does it matter? Why is it important? Before I do that, I really want to tell you a story about a client I had named Joe, many years ago, I think, he came and saw me it was during right after Trump was elected and was in office, and he was a very conservative man, and I just want to preface this by saying as well that I'm not speaking for or against any parties at all, so please just know that this is just a story that I'm going to share with you based off of a personal experience. I've had the good fortune of working in the wellness industry for over 20 years, so I have had people come and see me for many things and people all over the spectrum, from extreme conservatives to extreme liberals and everything in between, and usually in a massage clinic. They will really talk to you about how they're feeling and what's going on for them in the world, and sometimes that has to do with you know, things that are political, and I've had the benefit of being able to listen to many points of view over the years and to stay very neutral and to be able to hold space for everybody in their experience in the world.

Speaker 1:

That has not always been easy for me. When I was in my late 20s early 20s I became a vegan animal rights activist and it was one of the first. No, I was always pretty much an activist, even in high school, you know, I started the Earth Club with some friends of mine and, very, very vocal about my political views, I would protest things by sleeping on the steps of the Capitol. I was that 15-year-old, so I always had a cause that I was fighting for. I always had something, some kind of injustice, that I wanted to help the world overcome, and it created a lot of closed-mindedness for me and an inability to hear others. But I didn't realize it at the time. In fact, it was Joe who showed me through our interesting conversations, what closed-mindedness was costing me. So it was about, I think, it's 2017.

Speaker 1:

And at the time I had started dating a woman and nobody knew because I pretty much kept it in the closet. I really thought that it would impact my business, because I just didn't want people to judge me based off of my relationship status or who I was in love with or who I was dating. And most of my clients knew I had an ex-husband and I just didn't feel like explaining it and, to be honest, I just wasn't comfortable being myself in public. I had a mask on and I think a lot of people can relate, because we do have things that we don't want other people to know about us for whatever reason, and that was mine at the time. And when Joe started coming in, his wife sent him in and at the time it was his fiance, one of my dear clients, who had been treating after breast cancer and she kept saying you have to go see Tabitha for your low back pain. It's, you know, out of control. You need to go see her. So he finally comes in and I remember meeting him thinking like I just don't know how we're going to get along.

Speaker 1:

Like it's super conservative, very aggressive Italian man and I had a history of feeling very intimidated by aggressive natured men. But I thought you know, it's, you know Mary's partner. She's got good taste and I trust her. And it was interesting because I really had to stand in authority with him about the body and to learn how to teach someone about their body who was so vastly different than the people that I had normally encountered. And it was really interesting because very, very quickly, joe and I had a very interesting relationship around openness and it was like if you ever told me that I would have the most open conversations with a client client because I'm pretty careful with clients about what I talk about and you know a lot of topics are off top or we just don't cover them in the office because it's just. You know, we want to keep everything really safe and neutral and for some reason, like Joe was really good at asking me questions and I felt very safe being honest with him and he said you know, you look like a pretty liberal person.

Speaker 1:

I'm curious, and he would start asking me questions about my views and my opinions and what I thought of things and I would answer him quite honestly and then I would ask him as well. I would answer him quite honestly and then I would ask him as well. And we started having these really open conversations about political beliefs, lifestyle choices, and he was probably one of my first clients that I told that I was in a relationship with a female and he got really excited. Actually, he goes do you mind if I ask you some questions? Because I'm genuinely very curious and I can't ask anyone because I'm always afraid that they'll shun me or they'll take it the wrong way, and I think that we've got enough rapport where I could ask you these questions and I don't think that you would be offended and I said, no, I'm not really easily offended, so by all means ask. And so he would ask me like so, are you a lesbian? And I said no, I'm not a lesbian. He goes, but I don't understand. You're dating a woman. And I was like, yeah, I don't really understand either, but like I'm just kind of fluid that way and it was just funny because he would ask me questions he couldn't ask anyone else. And then I started asking him questions that I really didn't ask anyone else and I felt safe talking to him about highly charged topics. And it was great because he felt safe talking to me about highly charged topics, because we kind of had this understanding that we would just be open with each other.

Speaker 1:

It was a really strange and interesting relationship because we became, I think, a bridge to the other side. At the time I was very closed-minded about anything from the other parties and even, you know, had fights with people in my family and really had thought that like they'd lost their minds when they told me their political views. And Joe really taught me to just be open-minded and to question my beliefs and to question how I saw the world and to question also how people would perceive me Because he, like, of all people, I thought he would be like the most anti-LGBTQ and all the other letters that I'm probably missing, but he wasn't. He was just absolutely curious as to how people lived their lives and really genuinely didn't feel safe asking people. Because of his rather abrasive nature. I think he probably came off as accusatory in his language and the way that he communicated, but because of the nature of the way that we set up our rapport with one another, I felt very honored that he felt comfortable asking me things and I was actually quite excited to have someone else to ask questions of who would not get defensive and genuinely would just answer and say you know what the perspective was from the other side.

Speaker 1:

I think the thing and the reason why I'm sharing this is because it was such a blessing for both of us. It gave us this beautiful experience of just being present with another human being in a space. That was very healing, I would say, for both of us. Actually, I had struggled with very abrasive men before and usually kept my mouth shut, and he really helped me understand how to communicate with a man who had strong opinions and not to back down and to speak consciously and very from a place of curiosity and heart-centeredness. So why am I talking about this right now?

Speaker 1:

Mostly because there's a huge polarity in the air between people who have different opinions about how the world should be run and what's important to them, and I've seen people not speak to family members. I remember in Oregon, especially after COVID, I would have clients come in and they'd lost their entire family over a mask issue or a vaccine issue. And I'm not talking about like just lost, like the ability to have face-to-face contact, I mean not speaking anymore because of a difference of opinion that was so firmly rooted in fear that they couldn't even have an open conversation around it. And so what I want to really offer everyone as we go into the next couple of months, where fear and chaos are genuinely going to try to create separation for us, is to really step into a space of curiosity and compassion for humankind, all humans. Because when we think about what we wanted, what our needs were, you probably voted in alignment with what your needs are, how you see the world, how you see the problems in the world, like what you think of as being the major issues, as being the major issues, and everybody did that.

Speaker 1:

Now, who knows? Like all of the details I'm not talking about politics, but for the people who voted, they voted based on their needs and their values. Now, you may not agree with that, but one of the primary directives of neuro-linguistic programming is to respect each other's model of reality. When we can respect each other's model of reality, it opens up the doorway for open and conscious communication. I knew that Joe was never going to try to change my opinion and he knew I wasn't going to try to change his, which is why we could speak so openly to one another from a place of authenticity and just simple curiosity, and because of that, I learned to question my beliefs, to re-examine them and to decide if they were old and if they still held value for me. I think we should all do that all of the time, because I know that when I was an animal rights activist, I worked with a boss at Intel who was a hunter and we used to play around and he would like put up hunting posters in my cubicle and I would put up PETA posters in his. But we laughed and we played about it because we respected each other's model of reality.

Speaker 1:

But then, with some of my family members, it would get really heated. And the more heated it got and the more resistance there was, the more firmly rooted I got into my beliefs and the more closed-minded I became. I remember I had a brother in law my sister's husband and he just despised the fact that I was a vegan and he would just torment me like if there was a spider. He would kill it in front of me and kind of laugh and you know, do things like that. And then the more he that, the more rooted I got in my beliefs and stopped questioning them. So the more he bugged me or the more he ridiculed me, I would get more firm in the way that I believed and actually more extreme as well. That that's happened a few times in my life with beliefs that when they weren't respected, when people tried to change them or they shamed me for having them, I rooted down in them even further, like a tree growing roots that were stronger into the earth. But then I also stopped questioning them. I stopped reexamining them to see if they were still valid and true for me.

Speaker 1:

As you get older and you have new experiences, we do need to take a look at our beliefs and the way that we see the world and what we're buying into, and at some point I had to take a look at my diet and realize that the vegan diet wasn't right for my body. Now I'm not saying it's not right for everybody's body, but diet and realize that the vegan diet wasn't right for my body. Now, I'm not saying it's not right for everybody's body, but there was a point when it just wasn't right for my body anymore, and so I did have to adjust it, and once I did, I started feeling better, my energy got better and I started being healthier. So if I hadn't have taken an opportunity to re-examine my beliefs and what I was doing to see if it was working, I'd probably still be eating a diet that wasn't really in alignment with what my body needed, and there's many times in my life where that's where that's happened. It could be with my career, um, the direction I want to take my career, what I'm doing could be with my kids.

Speaker 1:

I know, for those of you who have children, who we are. At each phase of their life changes. When they're little, when they're babies, it's all about keeping them alive, and then, when they're going through adolescence, it's, you know, really helping them become who they are and guiding them into their interests, helping them learn about what they like and what they don't like and, you know, emotional regulation and all the other fun things that we get to teach as parents, like navigating social complexities and relationships. And then, as they transition to being young adults and teenagers, it's an entirely different experience. You have to re-examine how you parent, how you interact with them, how you lead them. I remember when my daughter became 16, I thought, oh no, like I'm in leadership training now, this is no longer nurture, this is leadership, and I really had to shift how I handled her and how I communicated with her. And being able to make those changes and to be resilient and adaptable, I think, is what we all need to learn how to do with our communication.

Speaker 1:

So over the next couple of weeks, we're definitely going to be talking about communication strategies, like how to step into a conversation without being triggered by someone, without compromising your values or beliefs, and then also you know how not to be emotionally triggered or reactive, how to truly listen and how to use your body language to communicate unconsciously with other people, because our body language is 55% of communication. But I would even go further to say. We're also going to talk about our energy and how our energy and how we show up energetically with people has a huge impact on how they hear us, see us and also interact with us, because our energy speaks volumes before we ever even open our mouth. And it's really important to me that we talk about our energy and also part-time personality takeovers, because I'm sure you've all had a conversation with someone where you felt like you walked away, maybe you were ruminating and you were like I didn't mean to say that, what happened? That's what we call a part-time personality takeover, and it's where a part or aspect of us that has an old wound or trigger is like oh, I know what to do when I'm angry, I'll take over, I yell, and then, like later you're like oh, I know what to do when I'm angry, I'll take over, I yell and then, like later you're like, oh, why did I lose my temper? It wasn't even that big of a trigger.

Speaker 1:

So we are going to talk about all of those things over the coming weeks, but tonight what I really want to talk about is what kind of a speaker, communicator do you want to be, and really getting clear on why is it important to you, and then we're going to do a recode to help you anchor in the communication avatar of who you want to be as a communicator. Now I'm going to give you some suggestions before we get started on things I want you to think about as we go into defining how you would like it to be, and then we're going to look at how it is now and then we will restructure your unconscious mind so that you can be in alignment with that. So if you're listening to this on the replay and you're not interested in the unconscious restructuring part, you don't have to listen to it if you're not ready to make those kind of shifts. But I will say that when we can speak from a higher self place, when we're really speaking from our heart and not our wound, we get something very magical. In its connection I would say that in the last 20 years you know working with people and I've worked in interview coaching.

Speaker 1:

I've taught I used to teach interview and job hunting skills to trade school students who were entering the workforce and a lot of them had never worked in an office before and they'd never worked in a professional setting and many of them they were the first person in their families who went to any kind of higher level of education, and so I had to do a lot of communication training around how to dress in a professional environment and how to like, interview and tell a story that was engaging, how to listen to your boss, like simple things like that that maybe some people take for granted. That aren't necessarily a given for everyone, and it doesn't make them less educated or less intelligent. It simply means that that was a skill set that maybe they hadn't been taught in their household, that needed to be developed and taught, and I loved it, because whenever I teach people, I never do it with any shame. It's always with a deep, heavy dose of compassion and empathy for the experiences that shaped them as human beings, and I hope that we can do that as a society as we move forward right now, because what I would hate to see happen in our world is to have more division, separation and lack of connection. Because I look on, like Instagram and TikTok and Facebook, and I see a lot of division, I see a lot of separateness and I see a lot of hate and fear, and it makes me sad because I know, as human beings, the thing we are craving most right now is connection, and when we're communicating from our wound, not from our higher self, tends to create a lot of disconnection, more fear, less empathy, less compassion and less understanding for everyone and their experience of the world. So think about how you would like to feel when you're interacting with someone. Do you want to feel loving and connected? Do you want to feel open and certain in who you are, but open to understanding who they are? Let me tell you a story.

Speaker 1:

On Sunday I was teaching an in-person workshop. It was a conscious communication workshop and it was so much fun. It's a new workshop series that my friend Natasha and I are putting together, and we did some improv games to get everybody warmed up. So we got into a state of play and then I started leading them through an exercise of how to truly listen to another human being. And we had one guy in the group and so I was showing them an example of how to really listen to him, and he had said in the beginning because one of the things that we asked was what are some of your needs that you don't feel like are met? And his need was I would really like to be heard and listened to. And so I used him as the sample and I was really listening to him and he started talking about coins. And it's so funny because I thought to myself, wow, in the past I would have been so bored, I would have thought about how can I get out of this conversation?

Speaker 1:

But the new, more conscious, intuitive me was so fascinated in his relationship to the coins Because it wasn't about the coin To me, it was about his relationship to the coins and what was important to him about them. And then he really started opening up because I used energy to create a field of love and connection. Now, nobody else had to do that, I only had to set the intention of creating a field of love and connection. And as soon as I did that, I got out of my wound, which my seven wound is like everything is boring unless it's something interesting to me, and I really just got into my heart of connection and I started asking him questions about the coins and what it meant to him and he really started telling me really wonderful stories about how he loves to give people gifts. And then we started talking about oh, how do you show people love? And we started talking about how he loves to do nice things for people and he's not always sure that they're taken the right way.

Speaker 1:

But I just listened and it was interesting because it didn't feel like any time had gone by at all and I felt like I got to know him on a really deep level and that like we were the only two people in the room, even though everyone was watching us, and he looked at me when we were done with the conversation. He said I don't think anyone has ever listened to me like that and I said that's active listening, that's conscious connection, energetic, physical, mental and emotional connection. I just took all the walls down and I was just very vulnerable mental and emotional connection. I just took all the walls down and I was just very vulnerable with him and he was vulnerable with me and he asked me such a great question and I think that this is a question that a lot of people have in their mind, which is well, that's great.

Speaker 1:

But what happens when you are the one who listens and then the other people never do it for you, like you're never listened to, and I thought that is a great question. It probably requires you to express that need to them and tell them how you feel listened to and heard, or maybe you need new people, like you know, who are going to listen to you and who want to hear about your life and who want to share it with you. So it's usually a reciprocal thing. And what was really interesting was because, as soon as I said that he goes, I want to practice. I want to practice listening to you, um, the way that you just listened to me, because the gift of listening to somebody like that when they feel heard, they think to themselves wow, maybe I'm not really listening to people now that I know what it feels like and I would love to be able to listen to someone the way that you just listened to me, because it felt so good to be heard, to not have someone talk over you to tell you how you should be feeling. Not to listen to you with the agenda of getting you to change your mind, but just to listen openly and with curiosity. It's something that I started practicing a long time ago when I started listening to the Life Coach School podcast and she had said in there about active listening and not listening with an agenda when you're talking to someone, and she had said in there about active listening and not listening with an agenda.

Speaker 1:

When you're talking to someone and if somebody is really triggering to you to go into a space of curiosity and really pay attention to your body, your mind, your heart, your emotions, right Like your energy, and go. Why is this triggering to me? What's happening to me right now? What is it that I'm really upset about? What need is not being met that I want to have met? What am I making this conversation mean about me? And really exploring why the conversation was irritating to you? Not because it has to be wrong your reaction has to be wrong but just because any time that I feel like I'm having a reaction that doesn't feel aligned for me, I want to take the opportunity to do my inner work to decide how I want it to be.

Speaker 1:

So if I feel like shut down, I'm not listening and I'm like reacting before I'm really hearing another person, then I have to go. Okay, what is it that's creating that for me inside? Is it a part? Is it like a trauma memory? Is it a fear of being manipulated Like? What is it that is coming up for me? And then I go do my release work and then I can come back and think you know, do I need to set a boundary? Do I need to express a need? Or do I need to, like, communicate my values? Or do I need to reassess the relationship, like, is it still a good relationship for me? And if I feel like it is my intuition's, like yes, then I don't have to go. Okay, well, maybe I have to have a difficult conversation with someone that's going to make me uncomfortable to go? Okay, well, maybe I have to have a difficult conversation with someone that's going to make me uncomfortable, but if the relationship's important, then I need to be able to have that conversation instead of just shutting them out and writing them off the rest of my life, which is my old pattern.

Speaker 1:

So over the next couple of weeks, we are going to talk about attachment styles and how they show up in our communication and create communication blogs. We're also going to talk about the Enneagram and how the Enneagram can really help you understand your communication model and how you can use it as a tool to strengthen your communication with others and like, especially, understanding how other people communicate so that you can have a deeper connection with them. Remember, this is all about connection. This is just all about connecting with others and, more importantly, it's about connecting with yourself, because if you have a mean voice in your head that's telling you you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not worthy imposter syndrome, the mean girl, any of that then this is also about how you communicate with yourself, because that old voice in your head needs an eviction, unless you really enjoy hearing an old story about who you used to be running the show in your relationships and in your choices in for the future.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so thank you for listening and, um, with that said, I think what we're going to do now is I want to walk you through the process that I use to restructure my consciousness and to be in a more intuitive and conscious state, and that's the five-step process that's in the handout, the book and my little five-step process to more effective communication. And we're just going to go through that process now and you don't really have to do anything. If you want, you can take out a pen and paper and take some notes. Otherwise, you can just listen and follow along and then, if you want, you can come back and write some stuff later. Yeah, okay, good, so I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to just think about how you would like it to be.

Speaker 1:

Do you have the kind of connections that you want, either in your marriage or your romantic relationship? Do you feel really connected and seen by your spouse or your partner? Or, if you're dating, do you feel like you have that kind of connection when you go out with people and you meet new people? Or do you feel like you have that kind of connection when you go out with people and you meet new people? Or do you feel like you put on maybe a front because you want someone to like you, you don't want to be rejected, or how is it that you're showing up in your romantic life? And if you're single and you're choosing to be single, you could use a past relationship and just think about in your romantic life, how did you show up in your communication style?

Speaker 1:

One of the things that I see a lot is people talk over the other person or they kind of like tune them out and pretend to be listening, but really they have their own plan that they're going to listen to. Or, you know, do you allow people to complete their sentences or do you talk over them? Is there a lot of yelling or maybe just apathy and not really caring to engage with the other person. So I just want you to think about those things and then I want you to think about how you would like it to be in your love life, in your romantic partnerships. How would you like to feel when you're communicating with someone that you're intimate with or that you want to be intimate with? How would you like it to be? Do you want to feel heard? How would you like it to be? Do you want to feel heard? Do you want to be able to express your needs and know that you'll be able to express them clearly so that the other person has the opportunity to meet them? Do you want to feel valued?

Speaker 1:

Just think about how you really want to feel and when you're thinking about the feelings, do you want to feel loving and connected and passionate, and do you want to think good thoughts about your partner? Do you want what do you want your beliefs to be Like? Even if you're having an argument, how do you want to feel and think about the person during that argument or the controversy? How do you want to think and feel, for instance, if you're on a date with someone? For those of you who are dating. How do you want to feel when you're meeting someone new and when we take it beyond the romantic relationships and we just think about family, like with our children? How do we want to feel when we're interacting with our children? Do we want to feel loving? Do we want to feel inspiring? Do we want to feel curious about who they are not who we thought they would be? Feel curious about who they are, not who we thought they would be? And think about your parents and your extended family, your siblings. How do you want to be able to interact with them? Do you want to try to force your opinions on them? Or do you know discernment, like who you can share things with and who you shouldn't share things with? That's another one.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes I think that when we are in a state of healing, we want to share certain parts of our experience with you know everyone that we're talking to. There are some people who maybe don't deserve to hear parts of your story because they can't hold it. They can't be trusted with those deeper, more vulnerable aspects of your life experience. They're not ready, maybe emotionally, mentally or energetically. Are we expecting people who are incapable of holding that to hold something that they're not going to be able to do. Think about your community. Maybe. If you're involved in a religious organization, how are you communicating with them? Are you communicating to fit in or are you communicating what you really think?

Speaker 1:

I remember Ellen Hotze. She was one of my clients. She was one of the first people who passed on that I was able to. She was the first person who passed on that communicated with me, who kind of let me know that I was a medium, a car accident towards to the end of her life, and she taught me a lot.

Speaker 1:

She went to a very conservative Christian church that she loved and she had a gay son and it was interesting because they said they have such opposing views of you know about being gay, how do you navigate that? And we talked about it really openly and she taught me a lot. She said you know about being gay, how do you navigate that? And we talked about it really openly and she taught me a lot. She said you know what? I don't agree with everything that they say. And sometimes I go in and I tell them I don't agree with you on this and I'm not going to agree with you on this, and she goes, but I still loved the community and they knew I didn't agree with everything and I had no problem speaking my mind. She goes, but before I had cancer I did, and it was something about having a terminal stage for breast cancer that gave her a little bit more liberty in speaking her truth. Before that she didn't. She didn't want to ruffle feathers and she didn't want people to think that maybe some of her beliefs were out of alignment with theirs. She didn't want to be kicked out of the tribe, but she said that cancer gave her some freedom because she stopped worrying as much about what people would think and she spoke her opposing beliefs freely and openly, showed me a lot about. I have a lot. I've had a lot of clients teach me a lot about communication, so think about that as well.

Speaker 1:

So in your community, how would you like it to be? Would you like to be able to say, yeah, I do agree with you on this, but not on that? Or do you would you prefer to just fit in and you know not, not have anything that was separate or different, and then think about work, Like when you're at work? How would you like to communicate with people at work? Do you want to be confident and clear about who you are and what you can do, and talk about your strengths and not try to hide them or diminish them because you don't want to be seen as egotistical or the one I get. A lot is.

Speaker 1:

Women in corporate America feel like they have to be a excuse my language bitch in order to get ahead, but then it compromises their integrity with who they are and they don't feel good about themselves later or they're like why is it that when I express anger, I'm seen as a bitch and a man can do it and he's seen as a hero, and so there's all of these discrepancies in communication. It could be based on gender, it could be based on wherever you live in the country, and also just on you know, the thoughts that you have about yourself. So let's really get clear on how you want to be. Do you want to feel like you have deep connection, that you can listen to people openly? Some other things would be excellent body communication. Some people are super unaware that their body is communicating an entirely different message than their voice, and 55% of communication comes through the body. So you might have an interaction with people and go why don't people understand what I'm saying to them and it might be that your body is communicating an entirely different story than your words are.

Speaker 1:

Then you also have to look at the tone of your voice, how it's coming out. I've noticed that a lot of people, when they get nervous, start talking from their inner child. Sorry, that was an annoying voice, but they like start talking in a high-pitched voice that comes from their throat and you can hear them talking from their wound. They're not talking from the deeper authority of their like sacral center. They're talking more from a past voice and you can tell by the tonality voice and you can tell by the tonality. Or maybe someone who's saying they're not criticizing you is criticizing you with a smile on their voice and they might even have a nice tone, but you can tell that they're saying really mean things with their words. So words matter but to be honest, they're the lowest way that people perceive communication. They are, I believe, probably not going to get this statistic right and I will look it up, but I believe it was 7% is words, 22% tonality, 55% is body language, and I'm terrible at math so I probably just blew that, but I will look up the statistics and make sure that I get them next time. Probably just blew that, but I will look up the statistics and make sure that I get them next time.

Speaker 1:

But then we also have to consider our energy. Is our energy out of control? Is it just open and all over the place, or is it really scattered? Or are you fully present and grounded in your body and creating a circle of intention with the person that you're speaking with? These things matter. So just let that kind of stuff like really think about the type of communicator that you want to be. And maybe you've seen somebody else and you're like wow, they're such a great communicator. I would love to be able to tell stories that way or be funny like that. I would love to be able to have that kind of rapport with people instantly. Just think about how you would like it to be, and this is where I think, like watching other people communicate is really helpful, because we can decide to be however we want to be.

Speaker 1:

A lot of the time people think that because they have a history of being shy or overlooked or introverted, it prevents them from communicating how they really want to. But I can tell you I was unbearably shy when I was younger, and it's funny because people will always say this to me. They're like you're not shy. I mean work to not be shy. It's hard. It's still hard. It's still a challenge, sometimes not nearly as bad as it was when I was younger, but I did realize when I worked at Corporate America that, like shy people got eaten alive. So I had to learn how not to be shy and you can learn it, so it's possible. So if you want to be more outgoing and confident, you know, put that in your list, make it fun. How do you really want to be? Do you want to be funny and engaging? Do you want to be inspiring or nurturing? Think about how you would like it to be and once you figure that out and I would suggest that you re-examine this and really play with it and have fun Say, like if I had a magic wand and I could be any kind of way I wanted as a communicator. How do I want to be and really have fun with it Now I want you to think about how it is for you now.

Speaker 1:

What does it feel like now? Do you feel easily triggered by differences of opinion? Do you feel like you're easily manipulated by others? Like maybe there's been some gaslighting in your life. Just think about how it is for you now. Do you ruminate after a conversation and think, wow, I wish I hadn't have said that. Or do you yell and trying to get your point across through force? Do you feel heard? Do you feel like you can express your needs clearly? Do you feel like you have deep connection with people and if someone makes you angry, do you feel like you can really talk to them about it? Or do you simply walk away and cut them out of your life? Do you have the skills to work through a healthy conflict with another person in a way that creates a result that feels good for you? Really examine how it is now.

Speaker 1:

Do people get you wrong?

Speaker 1:

Like, do you always get feedback? Like man, people just don't get me. I'm like trying to say something and they get it wrong. Do you feel misunderstood a lot? It could be that in your body language, you might not be aware that you're communicating in unconscious patterns, might not be aware that you're communicating in unconscious patterns. Do you find that it's hard to get your point across? Are you more of a literal listener or literal speaker? Or are you more referential, where you might be telling stories, and people get a little bit lost when you're speaking. So just think about how all of that comes across and how you you know, and then we're going to gauge where you're at now and where you would like to be. So if you think about where you're at now and where you would like to be on a scale of one to 10, how much resistance is between where you are now and where you would like to be? Don't worry, this will change over time. Sometimes I feel like a great communicator, and then I get thrown into a place with all new people and I realize I still have a lot of work to do, and so what we're going to do now is something called a recode, and so if this is your first time, I'm just going to tell you the quick and dirty version.

Speaker 1:

Basically, you have old memory structures and programming in your unconscious mind, and if you think about a football field and let's say maybe there's a bunch of gopher holes on the football field, what the superconscious recode can do is fill those old gopher holes in. The gopher holes represent old emotional triggers, past pain and trauma experiences across all lifetimes that have created grooves in your brain that are not in alignment with the way that you would like it to be. With the superconscious recode, we can come in and fill up those holes so that we remove a lot of the resistance that was there before. And the old triggers internalize your anger and frustration and go later and, like you know, self-abuse with food or alcohol, um, as a way of releasing the tension. You know that's not a really conscious communicator, um, or do you just yell and then, you know, ask for forgiveness later, or you know what is it. You know.

Speaker 1:

What we can do, then, is use the superconscious recode to remove those emotional triggers that prevent you from speaking your mind, speaking your truth. So, once you have that number, just go ahead and make a note of it and then close your eyes. And if you're listening to this while you're driving, don't close your eyes. Go back and listen to this part later, but go ahead and close your eyes and take a nice deep breath and when you're ready, give me access to your superconscious field. So you just do that by saying I give Tabitha permission to access my superconscious field.

Speaker 1:

Nice, so we're just going to ask your superconscious to come in and create the perfect treatment plan for you today so that you can step into being the clearer, conscious communicator that you would like to be. So I'm going to just start by taking some slow, deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose, expanding your belly, and exhale. Breathe in through your nose, expanding your belly, and exhale, and now feel your feet grow roots into the center of the earth, grounding you into the present moment. I'm going to create a circle of light around us, so everyone who's watching this call now or in the future is included in this circle of light. Just breathe in and breathe out. You may look around the circle and you'll see little beams of energy. These are all of the other individuals who will watch this call across all time and space.

Speaker 1:

And so just breathe in and breathe out, and we're just going to set the intention to get the most out of this experience, to release what no longer serves us and to step into a higher state of conscious communication In order to have more genuine, authentic connection with others and with ourselves, and with the world and with our intuition. So as we set that intention, just notice in your body you might feel old emotions, old stories, old beliefs coming up, and that's totally okay, because anything in the way of being the type of communicator we would like to be. We're going to start scanning, tagging and treating, removing the resistance, so that you can be the type of communicator that you've always wanted to be. And just notice, maybe there's some parts of you that don't really know what that looks like for you yet, and that's okay, because we're going to define that over time. You're going to evolve it and play with it, get to know your voice.

Speaker 1:

Just breathe in and out and step into a moment in time in the future where you feel like you're really connected with another person. Maybe this is a person that you've had a conflict with in the past and you used to be very triggered by them. So just step into a future moment, a future conversation where you're no longer triggered. You're just present, unshakable. Feel your feet grounded into the earth, your energy bubble around you protecting your energy. Notice how you can be present with their experience of the world, but it's not impacting you in a negative way. Just feel the healthy boundaries that you're able to speak and hold true to, and just notice anything else that you can notice about yourself in this new way of being.

Speaker 1:

What does your body language look like? Are you standing tall and erect. Standing tall and erect. Notice if your body looks calm and centered, grounded. Notice your eyes being able to make healthy eye contact with the other person. Notice how your body looks. Does it look open, confident? Notice how your head is held high. Notice how your gestures are intentional, with authority, loving. Notice your energy, how your energy is managing your conversations for you, what it feels like in your body. Notice your natural emotional state, the confidence, the calm, the centeredness, the ability to think clearly and to communicate from a place of love and compassion with authority. Notice your tone. How do you sound, how do you feel? Notice this conversation and how the other person is reacting to you.

Speaker 1:

Now that you have all of this grounded authority over your voice, superconscious, please tag this avatar as the destination point. Anything in the way of it, delete uncreate and destory across all time, dimensions, space and realities. Let's go ahead and put a pin in it and come back to the now. I want you to think about how is your communication now? Are there any instances where you feel unheard, unseen, uncertain, abused, manipulated, violated, afraid, chaotic? Distortions in how you communicate your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs, misunderstandings? Just notice all of that, superconscious. Please treat any somatic responses in the body that trigger old communication patterns in the body language, the emotional language, the mental language and the energetic language. Please treat and do a massive change history and everything as needed. Thank you, superconscious.

Speaker 1:

There is a fear response that is creating massive emotional dysregulation. Please treat the shadow of fear. Please treat the fear in the body. Please treat the fear that is being stored and trapped in the nervous system. Please also treat the fear that is being in the brain, all the fear thought patterns in the brain, the beliefs, the beliefs, the secret agenda that fear whispers in the ear. Please treat the voice of fear. Please make sure that the voice of fear has a unique and distinct voice that no longer sounds like intuition. Give it a high-pitched, screeching voice so that this person knows the difference clearly between fear and intuition.

Speaker 1:

Please treat across all time, dimension, space and realities. Please treat all parallel timelines. Please treat all shadow parts. Please treat past, present and future events that are preventing conscious communication. Please treat and do a massive change history. Thank you. Take a nice slow, deep breath in. Take a nice slow, deep breath in and exhale Super conscious. Please tug and treat all body systems that are holding on to old communication patterns. Please treat the behavior of pulling away, retreating, hiding and disconnection. Please treat the pattern of dissociation. Please treat the pattern of dissociation.

Speaker 1:

I'd like to talk to all parts that dissociate. Can you see how this is creating disconnection and harm for the main personality, superconscious? Can you please educate all parts about the benefits of staying present, having the mind, body, heart and soul completely aligned in present communication. Thank you, present presence. Please treat the fear of being present. Please treat the fear of vulnerability and do a massive change history. Thank you, so we're going to just do.

Speaker 1:

You see the parts that are creating um chaos, controversy and separation. Can we have a meeting with these parts? I'm getting like the, the anarchists of the mind. Yeah, can we have a meeting with these parts? And let's really ask what is the purpose of creating separateness, what is the purpose of that, and allow these parts to speak and to be heard, because chances are, the instructions they received were to create separateness when separateness was necessary to stay safe. But once we educate the parts about how separateness is no longer keeping us safe it's just keeping us disconnected perhaps these parts might consider learning, discernment, boundaries and healthy communication strategies that will allow them to stand up for what they believe in a way that is loving and compassionate and kind, and in a way that also allows them to be open to other people's model of reality. To be open but not to change. Simply to be open to seeing the world through someone else's lens, not because it means their lens is incorrect, but simply that it means they can hold compassion for another person's experience in the world, another person's reality. Anything in the way of that, delete, create and destroy across all time, dimensions, space and realities.

Speaker 1:

Superconscious. Please treat the throat and all of the muscles around the head and the face and the jaw. Please treat all of the neuromuscular patterns that are creating disconnection, lack and scarcity. Like there's not enough, there's never enough. Please treat. There's never enough time. Don't take my time, I don't have time for you. Please treat this across all time, dimensions, space and realities and do a massive change history, thank you. Please treat any shame.

Speaker 1:

Go ahead and have your unconscious mind light up all of the unprocessed anger, rage, frustration in your body. See it light up like black bags. Notice it in your physical body, your emotional body, your mental body and your physical body, your emotional body, your mental body and your energetic body and once all those black bags are lit up, see your higher self come in and simply carry them away, super conscious. Please treat any unprocessed anger and anger triggers. Please treat triggers. Please treat all past experiences of outbursts and yelling, of uncontrolled responses and communication. Please treat all of those memory structures with wisdom, marking them all complete and do a massive change history. Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Now have your unconscious mind light up any unprocessed sadness or grief that might be tampering with your ability to communicate clearly and confidently with others. Please have your unconscious mind light up any betrayal that was left unprocessed, the sadness, the despair. Please light it all up now and allowing your higher self to simply pull out that old baggage that you no longer need to free up space for new instructions, a new program, a new blueprint for your communication strategies. Have your unconscious mind light it all up now, pulling it out gently and easily so you can flow into being the person that you would like to be, that you choose to be, to be.

Speaker 1:

Now allow your unconscious mind to light up all the fear, the doubt, the paranoia, the judgment, any terror, more doubt, self-sabotage, anything that creates fear in the body, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of being seen, fear of being heard, fear of humiliation, fear of being bored, fear of separateness and fear of connection. Please treat all fear being stored in the emotional body, the mental body, the physical body and the energetic body. See all that fear being lit up. Now, like, put it all into black bags and allow your higher self to simply obliterate it, removing it from your system, allowing that space to just open up and allow the space between. Allow that space to be filled up with light and love and now allow your unconscious mind to light up any fear or shame or guilt from the past that you've been holding on to about maybe ways that you reacted before you had these new tools, fear or shame or guilt around, maybe ways that you've talked to people in the past, superconscious. Please treat all of those past experiences. Keep the wisdom, remove the trigger and do a massive change history in everything. Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Now just continue to breathe and allow your unconscious mind to light up all of the shame in your body. Light up all of the shame in your emotional structures, your hormones. Allow your unconscious mind to light up all of the shameful thoughts and beliefs. I'm not good enough. I don't belong. Who am I? I don't matter, tag and treating all of those outdated programs, allowing the higher self to come in and simply pull it all out and see a new blueprint being handed to you by your higher self. This is your new blueprint for conscious communication. See the new program being installed in your unconscious mind To be a clear and confident communicator, to speak from your heart and not your wound, to extend yourself and others' compassion and grace as you learn this new skill and to just choose to be committed to developing it in a way that feels very good for you and for those around you, with the intention of having deeper connection with others, with yourself and with your intuition.

Speaker 1:

Anything in the way of that, delete, uncreate and destroy across all time, dimension, space and realities Superconscious. Do you see this breach of trust? Can we please treat the breach of trust across all time and space, across all lifetimes? Please also treat any karmic contracts that are keeping you energetically trapped in unhealthy communication patterns. Marking all those contracts complete now, calling in new guides. Calling in new guides, calling in new mentors. Thank you, take a nice, slow, deep breath, breathing in and breathing out. Allow all of these changes to integrate. Breathing in and breathing out. Allow all of these changes to integrate.

Speaker 1:

Now I want you to see that there's a golden white light above your head. This is infinite love and wisdom. This golden white light is your connection to source, to your higher self. Allow that golden white light to come in through the top of your head. Notice that you can have it pour into your crown chakra, clearing away any debris, interference or dense energy that may have been interfering with your ability to communicate from your higher self. Feel that golden liquid light pour down through your head, healing, recoding and recentering you, restructuring your conscious awareness so you can live in alignment with your higher state of being, above the density of fear, separation and lack.

Speaker 1:

Feel that liquid golden light coat every part of your brain like a wonderful massage healing, recoding, regenerating, restructuring, in alignment with your choice to be free, to be empowered, to live in alignment with love. Feel the coating around all of your brain cells. Feel the new neural pathways lighting up, creating something new. Feel that light as it coats down around your face and all of the muscles, removing old tension, old pain, old wounds, making space for something new. Feel the golden liquid light as it coats your neck and your throat. See your pituitary or your third eye light up, light up in the center of your mind, clearing away any debris, interference, cords and attachments, clearing away the history of chaos and fear that created separateness.

Speaker 1:

Feel that golden liquid light pour down the back of your throat, coating all of the cellular memories, releasing, removing old trapped words, emotions, pain, freeing your voice. See that light restoring and repairing your throat chakra. See it spinning, pulling in new energy, new life, new coding, new instructions To speak from love and grace. Breathe in and pull that liquid light down your shoulders. Feel it pouring down your arms, into the tips of your fingers, healing, recoding and restoring who you truly are. Notice how powerful your touch is, how you can communicate with your hands, with loving, gentle touch, nurturing, expressing, healing. And pull that liquid light down your chest, your upper back, freeing up your breath in your lungs, in your lungs. Feel it pour around your heart chakra in the center of your chest, restoring a connection between your heart and your mind, allowing your heart, your mind and your mouth to speak as one.

Speaker 1:

Anything in the way of that delete, uncreate and destory across all time, dimensions, space and realities. Please tag and treat secondary intentions of control, manipulation and agendas and allow a person just to be present, to remove the agenda and just to be present. I now feel that liquid light coming down into your solar plexus, healing, restoring, recoding the center of your emotional intelligence, removing old emotional triggers that have kept you stuck and wounded and separate, calling in the energy of connection, of divine love, of universal light, of a higher consciousness, upgrading and recoding your entire emotional blueprint to have authority over the state of your emotional health. Pull that golden liquid light down into your gut all the way to your sacral chakra. This is your center of authority, your power. Tag and treat any trauma that has kept you from feeling empowered in your body, connected to your truth, your power source, your energy. Truth, your power source, your energy. Feel that light come down into the root chakra, connecting you to earth, connecting you to the planet, anything in the way of you feeling connected to the power of the earth and the energy that earth has to guide you, to nurture you, to love you, delete, uncreate and destroy across all time dimensions, space and realities. Feel yourself pulling your power from the planet, from your connection to all that is, to all that has been and to all that will be, so that your action, your momentum comes from that place of rootedness, rooted in who you are, not who you were told to be, but who you are as a conscious being having a human experience. Feel that energy pulling up from the earth into your body, pulling down from above, creating cohesion between your heart, your mind and your body. Feel your energy growing and expanding your capacity to hold love and to share it with others. Feel that upgrade coming into your sacred geometry, upgrading, recoding and restoring a sense of connection with your higher self and your higher truth. Feel yourself grounded in this new energy, this new truth of who you really are, super conscious. Please ground all memories we've touched today, including memories one, two and three, and return them to the matrix of the universe.

Speaker 1:

I want you to see a mirror in front of you. This is you as you are your highest expression of self. Watch how this version of you talks and moves. How do they show up with other people? Show up with other people. What is their energy like? How do they move? How do they speak? What is their tone?

Speaker 1:

Notice what you notice and as you notice how they move through the world and communicate and connect with others, I want you to have them stand now in front of you and ask them what is my next action? Step to speak in a way that is more conscious and deliberate and intentional. What do I need to know? Take a moment and write it down and now see this version of you step out of the mirror, and I want you to step in and merge with this version of you, allowing their energy to fully integrate into who you are, because this is already you. This is the highest expression of you already Feel yourself merging, feel the freedom, feel the higher conscious awareness that is who you are.

Speaker 1:

Feel the love that is yours, the unconditional love of your higher self, of your spirit team. Allow your heart to expand to this love and see how people react now around you, that you are this light of love, of higher consciousness. See how people react and respond to you. Now and anchor this feeling in, breathe in and out and now just choose it and remember that as you're growing and learning and expanding sometimes it's not always that easy You'll be challenged and triggered and those are simply opportunities to grow. They're simply opportunities to see what no longer serves you, what's comfortable now and what's not you, what's comfortable now and what's not. It doesn't ever mean that anything has gone wrong. It's just the universe revealing to you what still needs to be cleaned up in the back of your closet, wherever you're listening to this. I hope you enjoyed this exercise and I look forward to the next time we meet. My name is Tabitha McDonald and I am an intuitive coach and a healer. Many blessings to you.

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Tabitha MacDonald

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